As Eyes Make Me Write Again

It was empty. As empty as the dark sky, yet beautifully adorned with the brightest stars and the luminous glow of the moon. I longed to look through it, and understand the substance in all that emptiness. Yet all I can ever do is stare into this emptiness, just amazed at how it shrinks my once large vision of myself. I cannot survive it.

And soon I felt fear. As I gazed constantly at the blank space, I soon saw myself. I saw me stare back at me. That made me afraid. I soon realized that it was not the emptiness that moved me; it was the fact that it reminded me of myself. It made me feel human once again: fragile, soft, embarrassed.

And soon I felt weak. I breathed heavily, wishing the feeling would go away. It couldn't, because the emptiness soon surrounded me. It drowned me with the image of this darkness consuming me, until there was nothing left. I could not move, I could not even say a word. I remained silent standing there, as if wanting this emptiness to take me whole.

She then walks by. I breathed again.

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Damn, writing is becoming harder than it once was...

Sing Your Heart Out

We're through the middle of the fourth term, and I am finding lesser things to do. These days, most of my time is being consumed by downloaded television series (if not song playlists of the most emotionally challenged bands - that includes you, Paramore) and to tell you the truth, it is an amusing past time...

So what's on the screen of my laptop recently? Well, Big Bang Theory, with Sheldon, Lenard, Rajesh, Howard, and Penny, made my nights full of laughter, until I hit the end of Season 2 (can't wait for the next season!). But that isn't really what I wanted to share to you. Just recently, Paolo Carlos (a guest doodler) gave me eight clips of a fast-rising series still going on that is unlike the rest... Glee.

For all those who haven't heard of this television series (what?!), it talks about the resurrection of a Glee Club in a high school, which attaches intrigue and drama, with a lot of dance and song. It's like a High School Musical turned PG-13. Anyway, after seeing 6 episodes of this yet incomplete set of clips, it made me wonder... what if life allowed us to break into song, with the added instant dance moves (not to mention the unsolicited unpracticed backups) and music from the heavens? That would be something cool to think about...

Seriously though, if there is one thing a world like that would bring, it would be emotional comfort. Imagine you able to express yourself without actually having to say what bothered you (instead, just sing it!). I bet there is a song made for almost all emotions, and there will always be one that is close to the heart for everyone. And wouldn't it be great if people just sang what was in there hearts than live with the burden of keeping things secret? It could save a lot of broken hearts and minds (not to mention the benefits it brings to the respiratory system).

Put it this way... We live in a society which paints itself black and white. Let's put a little color into it: if we can't expect everyone to burst into song with you, at least we should never stop singing, if not out loud, then in our hearts and minds. For sure, I won't. Beats being emo all the time due to self-esteem issues. And honestly, I'd certainly want to do a Glee thing on our Graduation (now that is pure, cut-through Blue Ocean - that will make us different from all the other batches!).

Ok, now for Episode 7, Shhh...

Know the “Knows”

After going through the course entitled "Work Life Harmony" which I took in the third term here in AIM, I realized that in order to reach any goal we strive for, we have to do three things: Knowing, Doing, and Believing. As the thought of graduating from AIM draws closer and closer, I soon realized that in this stage of my career, I should start with knowing. From this very insightful elective, I created a “laundry list” of 5 important things I must discover before I set foot into the world. Probably, this could be somewhat my advice (or at least a part of it) that I would like to share with the incoming batches (or should I say, cohorts). These are the “Knows” we should know, in other words:

1. Know yourself. As stressed in several activities in the course, there is no way that one can succeed in life until he discovers who he or she is. Aside from knowing yourself, however, it is also important to accept whoever you are and be contented to who you have become. We must discover our “authentic self” by asking ourselves over and over again, “Who am I, really?” This discovery can be done through reflection or, as a song goes, with a little help from our friends.
2. Know the destination. This is defined by your True North. Even before setting foot into the real world, we must know first where we are planning to go. We should have our pre-defined goals set in our minds, so that we know exactly which path to take. A lot of lives, as I have heard, have been wasted mainly because people did not know where they wanted to go. After realizing our goals, we should then ask ourselves, “Why do we want to go there?” The answer to this should be in line with the values and talents we have, either as an individual or as a leader. The story of Michael Jackson clearly shows us how someone, who had the talent, the fame, and the riches, seemed to fail to ask himself early in his life what exactly he wanted. He later found this out in life, but then was misunderstood by the public. This tells us that it is best to discover what we want in life early on, to prevent regret.
3. Know how to get there. By leveraging on our talents, we have to define the steps on how we can reach this destination. However, I would like to suggest that it is not only the destination that is important, but it is getting there that also matters. It is in this process that we make mistakes, we learn, and we move on. It is here that we discover more of the world, and how we fit into it. As I would say, this is when we begin to challenge the challenger and get up whenever we are hit down. Valuable lessons in life will definitely be learned in this process, and it is important that we ready ourselves for it.
4. Know who will help you get there. This is where the Social/Relationship Capital in our Leadership Capital Inventory becomes important. As we all have heard time and time again, no man is an island, and humans are social animals, as Aristotle would put it. The point is, no one can get to his or her destination alone, without any help. It is best that we have a guide, someone who has been there already, a supporter, someone who will encourage us to get there, and a companion, someone who is willing to travel with us. With these people, the travel will definitely be less cumbersome, and we will soon find that the adventure would seem easier to take. We should find these people in our lives, and keep them close to us, as these are the people that will matter in our lives.
5. Know when to be contented. One very important trait that I have always practiced is that of contentment. We should know what makes us happy, and stay contented with that. Greed usually happens when people stop being happy with what they have and start yearning for more, even if they actually do not need it. My point is this: This world can only offer us so much, and our wants and needs will always change as life goes on. If we ask too much from this life, its either we will be stealing the lives of others or we will be greatly disappointed about life. We should therefore just be thankful for everything, even the simple things that keeps us alive every day. It is in these simple things that greatness is discovered.

The Decisions We Make

As the day I made the decision to stay here in AIM against going in exchange to Bocconi University in Italy becomes more and more distant, I look back and wonder if the decision made was the right one... Or if there was really a right one at all.

Let's backtrack a bit. Sometime around May, on the day of my birthday, I was told that I am eligible to participate in the International Student Exchange Program, one of the highlights of being a student in AIM. Of course, I was ecstatic... That was indeed an opportunity to meet new people, build my resume, and do what I enjoy doing: travel. When I was given the selection of partner schools to choose from, I made the choice, not based on whether the school's MBA program ranked well globally, but based on this simple question: If I was a tourist, where would I go in this list? The answer was simple: Italy. And this was the start of string of decisions which would haunt me for a time.

So a month followed: problems of financials and emotional stability rocked my view towards the thought of going to Italy. I kept asking myself, is it worth it? What exactly is it I want from this program?

To make the long story short, this is what I realized a month back when I made my decision to stay. Aside from the obvious costs that were horrendously overwhelming with the same quality of service being provided here and abroad, there was something more. I soon asked myself a more important question... What do I value the most? The answer surprised me. And I want to share this to you.

In the four months I would have spent in Italy, I would have made a lot of new connections and networks that would supplement my career in the future. But as I thought about it, that was just basically it: all for business. What I really wanted were relationships. And these cannot be built is such a short span of time. So what do I value the most, then?

It became clear that it was rather simple, really: those silly jokes we share each day, in and out of class, those lunches and dinners where we can't really seem to realize the value of what we ate, the songs we list as we horde microphones in videoke nights, the drinks we mix just to discuss more useless matters, the surprise birthdays we hold just to make the celebrant emote, the basketball games we play every week, those promiscuous stories we share to each other... it was the people - the relationships I have forged in the past year with my peers here in Boot Camp that seemed to matter. Being with them seemed to outweigh the benefits of leaving for a better career. I figured that I wanted to be there with my friends as we near the end of this phase in our lives together. Every second counts in building that memory we can share in the future. We came in as strangers, but that is certainly not how we will exit these halls.

Was it the right decision? I wouldn't really know. As far as I am concerned, I am happy with it, and I guess that is what really matters.

Silence in Surprises

Speechless. He looked at the faces surrounding him, creating an invisible spotlight that seems to glow even brighter as their eyes focused on him even more. What was he to say? He never really knew how to react.

He woke up that morning, thinking it was yet another ordinary day, with the ordinary chores, ordinary work. He believes that each day like this one was indeed a special one, one that marks another year closer to his death. He imagines that all guys feel that way: that they would want to spend it alone. But somehow, he wanted it differently, although he did not know why. Something urged him to crave for more from the day, to demand the gods of a reward for living his several years here on this earth. Sigh, he thinks, no one really remembers.

But all those thoughts are gone now, as he stood there, in awe of the crowd waiting for him to say something. They put so much effort in changing the outcome of his day. They caught him by surprise, and he usually did not like surprises. Or did he?

These people, he thought, I only got to know them not so long ago, and yet, here they are, making this ordinary day special. Why?

He was troubled with the thought. But maybe that was just it: he thought to much. Maybe it is time to let logic take a break and feel the freedom of the moment, letting loose bound emotions that he hid deep in the recesses of his mind. friendship needs no explanation, no logic. It is a fact of life that just happens, like the gentle rain that falls on a hot summer day, or a warm kiss on a cold stormy night. This is something I can never explain...

And somehow, I am happy I couldn't.

Silence still. He afforded a soft smile, but a smile, nonetheless, which speaks more words than he could ever muster. He folds his hands, and solemnly bows his head to all those around him.

"Thank you... all."

Guest Doodle: Blues, Blessings, and Birthdays

Yehey! Another guest doodler (and I was beginning to think that this was a bad idea ).

Anyway, the only time of the year where a majority of people get hit with the blues is on their birthdays. And the guest doodler is no exception. However, with the power of friendship, any dark moments can be surpassed. Another classmate of mine, Carmelyn Pacheco, a.k.a. "Boss Carmie", reminisces her experiences after growing a year older last week. She looks back at her surprise party last Tuesday, celebrated by a majority of the Filipino community of students in the batch with a few foreign guests. She glimpses at these snippets of memories and reflects on how this is to change her life forever.

Ladies and gentlemen, Carmie Pacheco, without the birthday blues.

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August 5, 2009 - while the rest of the nation is mourning with the ex-president’s funeral, I’m celebrating because God showed His love on my special day. What more could I ask for? It was just a week when I prayed for a blessing on my birthday, I didn’t even know what I really wanted but I know that it was not something material.

It’s been a roller coaster ride for the past month. I was too anxious of a “special wish” that I’ve been praying since May. Two weeks ago, that wish was denied because I got a big NO-NO. I needed someone to talk to that night but God really knows when to test me, He wanted me to be strong and talk to Him instead through prayers. I ended up crying all night, still wondering where I am heading and just accepting the fact the He has other plans for me.

This year is a little bit different because I’m not really looking forward to my birthday. Maybe the incident that happened weeks ago made me hopeless. Midterm presentations on Marketing made us busy as well for the past week. My AIM friends were not even asking what my plans are and finally I’m turning another year older. I just accepted the fact that there was really nothing to celebrate about.

Little did I know that there was something going on behind my back. I even told Paolo last Sunday that I was sort of “nagtatampo” because I think they forgot my birthday. Clarence finally asked me last Monday what my plans were & invited me for Tuesday dinner, the night before my birthday.


Bits & Pieces
August 1: My mom accidentally told me that my friends are inviting them for lunch – that was my first clue that there might be something to look forward to but I did not bother to ask which set of friends, and I had doubts that it would happen on my birthday because GSB scheduled a make-up class in Sales Force Mgmt at lunch.

August 3 - Dorm Lobby: I saw AJ (my CAN-mate) approached Pat while we were doing our FBI presentation. I had a hunch but then I dismissed the thought.

August 4 - Before ASPM (Advertising, Sales & Promo Mgnt), Benpress Caseroom: I saw Pat carried a lot of money, I asked her what was that for, she said that she decided to enter microfinance & started lending (concepts from our elective, Banking With the Poor). Obviously, it was a BS answer and maybe it was the top of mind response that Pat can think of because she did not expect the question from me.

From time to time, someone would call our room looking for Pat. I even heard Abhishek (my other CAN-mate) looking for Pat – seemed like that there was really something going on.

August 4 - Dinner at Max’s: I had a great dinner with Cla, KT & Ms. Lot. Clarence was able to pull a surprise – she asked the waiters to sing the birthday song. It was the first candle that I blew this year & officially started my birthday .

August 4, 10pm - Weird Roomies: Pat acted really weird! We just came from dinner then she started craving for ice cream at McDonalds. KT entered the room and started speaking to Clarence in Fookien. The phone rang, KT answered “10minutes” then speaking again in Fookien. Maam, who just came Yoga class also craving for ice cream & apple pie (isn’t ironic, yoga then dessert? ). Clarence was the best actress – still in “dedma” mode and decided to leave the room to meet her friend Mitch around 10:20pm.

When we were crossing the street to McDonalds, I saw Clarence from afar wearing a birthday hat & I saw that there were a lot of people in the room. I could not recognize them though because all I see were heads with party hats.


Surprise Surprise!!! August 4, 1030pm - McDonalds GB1
When I entered McDonalds, I immediately noticed my AIM friends in the party place. I was pulling myself out but KT was dragging me inside the party area. They were yelling and singing the birthday song. I was really surprised because I did not expect that I will have a kiddie party (at McDonalds?!) with a bunch of MBA students (so MBA huh ). I saw my roommates & friends all together. It seemed like a recollection of all my AIM memories – all in one place!

Johan & Ken were the witty hosts of the night. Johan cracked the crowd with his “knock-knock” antics. I was impressed the way they lit up the crowd. While everybody was having fun, I was crying most of the time. I was really overwhelmed & blown away with that surprise.




Friendster’s Testimonials: August 4, 11pm till August 5, 12:30am - McDonalds GB1
As far as I could remember, it was Friendster, which started the new genre of documenting testimonials. While Friendster had these testimonials online, I had it live! The best part is, even if I’m offline or could not connect to the slow AIM network, I could remember it vividly because all were written in my heart .

KT mentioned about my bad habits . I admit that I’m really sensitive or “matampuhin”. It was just my childlike or should I say childish way to express myself. Clarence always says that she’ll twist my neck if I continue my baby habits like frowning and pouting.

It was also quiet surprising that some friends are afraid of me . They say that a have this strong aura that is sort of intimidating. I remember Pavaan said while we were in Trend Micro that I’m a snob. I’m not defending myself but I find it hard to reach out sometimes. Maybe because I barely know the person so I don’t know what to say or how to carry the conversation. I might leave an impression that I’m a snob or intimidating but no matter how hard my shell is, my close friends know that deep inside I’m a softie & a crybaby.

I blew my 2nd candle of the night on top my fave cake, thanks to Paolo.

My Speech
As expected, it took me some time before I can pull myself together and start my thank you speech. I was still crying and my voice was shaking as I thanked my friends who made my day extra special. I was so touched and I felt that my heart was being squeezed. I’m the type of person who is very sentimental when it comes to friends because I believe that they are gifts, for keeps. I was also getting emo since May because things are happening so fast at AIM & graduation is fast approaching. Months from now, we’ll take different paths and this is the part which I’m afraid to face, the moment that I need to let go .

I received my first gift, my very first photo mosaic, which I really love, thanks to Clarence .



Mushy Thoughts
As I look back at what happened at McDonalds, I’m still overwhelmed with the fact that a lot of friends came & greeted. I told Clarence that I feel I did not deserve that kind of treatment. I was just amazed to see that everybody had fun and celebrated my birthday in a non-MBAish way . I love to be on the other side, throwing surprises, making friends cry on special occasions but once I’m on the receiving end, it’s always an astounding experience. Last year, when I decided to study at AIM, I had no idea what challenges I would face, what type of people or friends I would meet – I left everything in God’s hands. I was just in “Que Sera Sera” mode and hoping that everything would be all right. I celebrated last year’s birthday quietly with family & close friends. This year, I celebrated it with a bang! When I came back at 306 after my family dinner, I remember Shirleen telling me that I looked really happy and I’m very certain that the happiness came from within.

Clarence pulled another surprise. She did not just start my birthday but ended it as well. She’s really sweet, I had my first birthday card & another gift .

My day ended with a prayer, I thanked Him for a wonderful day. One week before my birthday, I prayed for a blessing but He made me realize that I don’t have to ask for more. I already have everything – a loving family and great friends. I won’t forget my birthday this year. Definitely, it’s one of the most memorable events of my life.

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Carmie Pacheco is currently finishing her MBA in the Asian Institute of Management. Although intimidating in looks, she is very kind, soft, and friendly (all you have to do is talk to her). She is currently single and ready to mingle, and believes that friendship is essential if one is to survive life.

Amateur Advertiser

Here I go again. If there is one thing I enjoy doing in AIM, its making original advertisements from scratch. There is no greater fun that making my classmates into stars, either highlighting their strengths or just plain making fun of them (or myself; I wouldn't mind). My brand equity of being a "funny guy" here in AIM was probably strengthened by the way I made my ads. My point is: they just have to laugh. That is basically why here I am again.

The ads I made this time were for the subject, Principles in Social Marketing, facilitated by Prof. Roger Chua, a marketing and Business Intelligence extraordinaire. Just to give you guys a little background on what the subject is all about, allow me to get technical. Social marketing is marketing a behavioral change for a social cause undertaken by non-profits, using commercial marketing techniques with outcomes that are measurable. Whew. That was a mouthful. Basically, it is telling your target audience to change the old habits for the better good of society. Some of the common ones are the No Smoking, Wash Your Hands, and Check Your Breasts campaigns (I had to include the last one ). For all those who are planning to get an MBA in AIM or who is currently in the first few terms in here, this is a must-take subject, which I highly recommend. Aside from the topics being very close to heart and easily digestable, the subject promotes managers to never forget about society.

Okay, now for the current project. After several hours of brainstorming, Carmie, Cian, Karen, Alvin, and I came up with developing a Smile Campaign targeted to rank and files in the BPO industry. Now, this was basically "close to heart", as Alvin and I came from this industry (remember the pit in my previous posts?). Labeled "Service with a Smile" Program, our slogan would be "Ngiti o Kiliti?" (Smile or [Get] Tickle[d]?), highlighting a sort of "threat," suggesting that if one does not smile, he gets the tickle treatment. Basically, the program aims to promote smiling in an industry filled with stress. We try to highlight the health, performance, image, and economical benefits the individual gains if he frequently smiles. The real goal would be to develop the industry and make it more productive and efficient with customer-friendly individuals. We believed that if this was a real campaign, the Contact Center Association of the Philippines (CCAP) and the Business Processing Association of the Philippines (BPAP) would initiate it; I hope there's nothing wrong with using their logos here. Remember, guys, that this is hypothetical; if anyone wants to react to it, be my guest.

Okay, enough with the BS. Enjoy the ads!

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Text: It's expensive to get sick. You should have just smiled instead.

Text: No more loneliness on Mondays!

Text: Mega-smile: is there such a thing?!

Text: You seem to be glowing today. Is it because of the job?

Text: Now Hiring: (tickle)-Team Leader

Text:No smile, no entry.

Text: Smile or monkey?

Questions that Haunt Us

Here is an e-mail sent by my father just a while ago. Somehow, after reading them, I kind of felt a little dumber (there's a word of caution for you!). However, it is an interesting read, and it is worth giving a few seconds of your time to reflect on (or is it?). Enjoy being dumbfounded!

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If you have intercourse with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

an a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your BUTT?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why are you even reading this in the first place?

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I need some answers, man. Anyone?